Its cold out in the rain


It’s cold out in the rain, 

It’s cold out in the rain,

Pitter patter splish and splat, 

Let’s hope I don’t get in a spat,

Or else I’ll be knocked down flat,

It’s cold out in the rain.


It’s cold out in the rain,

Walking meager to and fro,

Dodging rain in a dosie doe,

Look both ways before I go,

It’s cold out in the rain.


In the rain you can be wet and warm,

Like you’re gods pants and he’s pissin’ a storm,

boiled down, reader be warned,

It’s better to be cold and out in the rain.


It’s cold out in the rain,

You walk by a girl you name her Gene,

She gets you so hot you’ll turn to steam,

Not everything is as it seems, she appears to be ripped at the seams!? 

She’s an umbrella that’s stuck in a tree!

It’s cold out in the rain.


Drenched and drab you dab your face with your sleeve,

Searching shelter, skelter, hail starts to welt her, pelt her, melt her, like the wicked witch the elder,

Stumbling to a house in all your skeeve,

You relieve yourself from the. cold. out. Rain.


It’s warm in the vestibule door,

But tipsy from the drink, pulled from the brink, need the bathroom so bad you pee in the sink, dance for joy you’re outta the rink, slimy and slick all like a skink, watched so close don’t even blink,

You got knocked down by a woman in mink – you tracked mud all over the floors!


Out stone cold thrown out in the rain, 

Alas, no one acquires gain then pain,

Keep on moving til’ you need a cane

If you listen to this story then hear this refrain,

It’s better to have a verbal stain then be cold out in the rain.


Biographical Note: Asher Caruso is a second-year student at the University of Cincinnati studying philosophy and anthropology. In his work, Asher maintains an interesting balance of pretention shrouded in humor that has been described by some as “on brand” or “not a good look”. The most notable thing about Asher is that he is the handsomest and smartest guy around (as long as you don’t ask around too judiciously). Asher is the president of the poetry collective on campus (@cincipoetrycollective), and loves books, music, and art.