Fish Out of Water
do you know
what love is?
i used to
think i did.
in the way
that all teenagers
think they know.
the kind of
throwing rocks at
your window love—
nevermind that it
shatters the glass.
the kind of
standing in the
pouring rain love—
nevermind that you
catch a cold.
the kind of
sweep you off
your feet love—
nevermind that it
is only true
in the movies.
Love messed me
- went the
extra mile to
beat me down
and i let
It. i made
excuses for It.
i defended Love
when i should’ve
defended myself. but
how could i
have known? red
flags weren’t red
they were yellow
which is practically
green which means
it was ok.
Love caught me
on Its line
pulled me up
admired Its catch
and claimed me
for Itself. left
me gasping for
air. flopping around
like a fish
out of water.
imagine drowning without
knowing you’re dying
the green flags
blend in with
the red until
you can’t tell
them apart—because
there’s no way
to escape Love
unscathed. walking through
a million cactuses
will draw blood.
will cut deep.
with Love i
was sinking without
Love i’m not
floating. i’m stuck.
Confused—sometimes i
find myself wanting
to go back
to It. because
i knew Love,
It knew me.
at least before
i didn’t feel
this pain but
now i do
and it doesn’t
make any sense.
Love calls me
and i answer.
It’s my normal.
it’s always so
hard to let
go of normal.
well you know
that they say
third time’s the
charm. but Love
doesn’t follow the
rule of threes—
it only took
one try to
hook me using
“i love you”
as the bait.
do you know
what love is?
because i don’t.
Gentlemen
My phone lights up
I’m sorry, running late.
Doesn’t it seem like we’re
always running? But running
where running toward
what running from
what when we sit down
we feel like we
should still be running,
taking time to relax what
a waste of time.
no worries I quickly
type back n I am
worried. Looking over
messages from Bumble
ur so beautiful. I know I shouldn’t
love to hear it but I do
I crave the validation from
strangers online. The convo
goes well until he asks
wyd at midnight
n it’s ruined. what do
I say? If I say
nothing, the response
is always send me
a pic n I feel gross—
if I say, doin homework
he’ll want me 2 come
over 2 my place where
I won’t get any work
done n I’ll feel gross.
it’s that one in a million
shot of finding
a guy who doesn’t
want a booty call, or
at least doesn’t ask
for it like a gentleman.
what do I want? does it
even matter. Of course
it does, but to who?
not these boys who
only live for the
next party where
the next booty is
waiting to make them
feel like a man.
what’s your favorite
book? catches me off
guard n I almost
fall off my chair
when he says I love
that book.
I type back faster than ever
you’ve read it? n wait
anxiously for
the answer my heart
beating loudly. yes,
I feel bad for ppl who haven’t.
guys want one thing,
but what if that one
thing is not the only
thing? days later
the convo is still going
strong and not one
mention of my body.
I must be getting
catfished, this can’t
be real. I was right in
holding on right that
there were some
good ones out
there not only
in my novels.
hello, how r u doing?
It feels good to not
feel gross.
Current Choices
a creek with a current.
a woman with a dream.
the sound of the water
running almost drowns out the
sound of her heart beating.
is she running away trying
desperately to escape? or is
she running toward that which
is just within her reach,
is just across the creek?
one step, two steps, three
she keeps going as the
water splashes against her knees.
the current threatens to destroy
everything she has worked for.
with each step her feet
feel heavier from the pressure
yet she digs deep to
find the strength to reach
the bank of the creek.
change starts with an answer.
it’s not a question of
who, what, when, or where
it’s a question of Why
will you cross your creek?
Biographical Note: Megan Copenhaver is a senior majoring in Creative Writing at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio. When she’s not reading or writing, she’s spending her time as Editor-in-Chief of Miami’s literary magazine, Happy Captive Magazine. After graduation, she hopes to pursue a career in editing as well as work toward her dream of writing a novel.