Analog Time
Analog clocks and analog time
Extra resistance as I try to lock the door
Squeezing the coats into the closet
Shut it before they can get out
The door knob becomes an instrument in your control
The closet makes room for the song
Phone cord binding a ponytail of your phone cord curls
How do you tame it?
I spend hours on the couch, staring up and up at the lightly buttered popcorn ceiling,
Trying to do so myself
The sparks of a memory are slowly burning a hole in my favorite sweater
I don’t even notice until it’s too late
It’s too early for anything to be too late
I put my first hand on green and my second hand on blue
Hoping that you’re playing the same game
The minute hand is on five and the second hand is broken
Stuck,
But everyone still knows it’s time to leave.
Looking down and looking up are the same thing
When everything around the center isn’t real
It seems like time to repeat this line:
Analog clocks and analog time
Television
Sometimes I imagine that my life is a TV show
Like one of those slice of life comedies,
Where normal stuff happens and it’s funny because it’s so ordinary
I pretend that a camera is always following me around,
I’m the main character of course
And everyone watching the show is watching Me.
And it feels really good to know people are watching.
Making sure I’m okay.
Everyone roots for the main character right?
I like that it feels like everyone wants good things to happen to me..
It also helps to view my life like a TV show because
In TV shows things do always work out for the main character
All of the character’s issues are eventually resolved, and it feels good to believe that about myself.
I just want to know that people are watching.
That people are caring about what happens to me.
That they struggle with me through the hard parts, but know that it’s going to get better –
And feel relieved with me when it does.
I guess that’s a little like what God is for some people.
He’s always watching and rooting for you.
And he knows you’ll get through the bad stuff
Because people who subscribe to God like one subscribes to Netflix,
Know that God gives every episode a happy ending.
I’m not so sure about God.
But I do know that when my life is like a TV show it feels a little better.
Tucker Engle is a sophomore at the University of Oregon studying English and Philosophy. He is a member of Tom Heinonen’s infamous UO Running Club. His current academic interests are Heideggerian phenomenology, ecocriticism, and postmodern comedy.