Tucker T. Engle

Analog Time

Analog clocks and analog time


Extra resistance as I try to lock the door

Squeezing the coats into the closet

Shut it before they can get out


The door knob becomes an instrument in your control

The closet makes room for the song


Phone cord binding a ponytail of your phone cord curls

How do you tame it?

I spend hours on the couch, staring up and up at the lightly buttered popcorn ceiling,

Trying to do so myself


The sparks of a memory are slowly burning a hole in my favorite sweater

I don’t even notice until it’s too late

It’s too early for anything to be too late


I put my first hand on green and my second hand on blue

Hoping that you’re playing the same game

The minute hand is on five and the second hand is broken


But everyone still knows it’s time to leave.


Looking down and looking up are the same thing

When everything around the center isn’t real


It seems like time to repeat this line:

Analog clocks and analog time



Sometimes I imagine that my life is a TV show

Like one of those slice of life comedies,

Where normal stuff happens and it’s funny because it’s so ordinary


I pretend that a camera is always following me around,

I’m the main character of course

And everyone watching the show is watching Me.


And it feels really good to know people are watching.

Making sure I’m okay.

Everyone roots for the main character right?

I like that it feels like everyone wants good things to happen to me..


It also helps to view my life like a TV show because

In TV shows things do always work out for the main character

All of the character’s issues are eventually resolved, and it feels good to believe that about myself.


I just want to know that people are watching.

That people are caring about what happens to me.

That they struggle with me through the hard parts, but know that it’s going to get better –

And feel relieved with me when it does.


I guess that’s a little like what God is for some people.

He’s always watching and rooting for you.

And he knows you’ll get through the bad stuff

Because people who subscribe to God like one subscribes to Netflix,

Know that God gives every episode a happy ending.


I’m not so sure about God.

But I do know that when my life is like a TV show it feels a little better.


Tucker Engle is a sophomore at the University of Oregon studying English and Philosophy. He is a member of Tom Heinonen’s infamous UO Running Club. His current academic interests are Heideggerian phenomenology, ecocriticism, and postmodern comedy.