“Loneliness” by Lexie Stevens

I want someone to talk to.

I talked to my grandmother the other night about what our greatest fears were.

 I love knowledge and let her know that if I got a disease such as Alzheimer’s, I would be destroyed.

I pride myself on my brain and how my intellect gets me through everyday life.

She tsked at me and said loneliness is the only universal fear.

 I asked what she meant, but deep down I knew.

I feel it.

It’s purple.

Bright and angry.

 The ability to look at someone else and know you belong there

        that’s the ticket.

That’s what makes it all worth it.

I think about myself now and how I feel.

I took advantage of the easy access I used to have to someone else’s feelings.

I knew then that I had something special and didn’t care.


I am sitting on a shore surrounded by smiling families in a black sweatshirt on a stone bench.

I hear the waves and I smell the salt and wish for nothing more,

 but to disappear.

I wish I’d brought something to write with on the lonely journey.

I wish I’d said sorry sooner.

I feel like I have goosebumps on the inside of my soul.

I want to scratch at the pain or burn it from my skin.

I want to remember the faint touches and feel the hands that were once in mine.

I dread the life in which I would live without the companionship in which I so adamantly long for.

What’s the point in having knowledge with no one to teach?